Beyond Cuckoo

Full of Bull

Hemingway enthusiasts have long discussions on the Machismo elements in “The Sun Also Rises” and the many layers of social commentary released on its pages. Yet, all anyone seems to identify with these days (especially men) is the excitement and danger that surrounds the running of the bulls. So much so, that there is now a traveling show that challenges common sense and lures crowds to “Grab Life by the Horns!” and run with real bulls—mostly at county fairgrounds.

They advertise this event as an inexpensive family outing that is sure to get your adrenaline flowing. Apparently you are not encouraged to run in front of the bulls, who clock in at 35 miles per hour, but to run alongside. You wait until 18 +/- bulls are released at the end of a fenced bull run and you jump in at that special moment for the thrill of a lifetime. They do warn that chaos is the norm and if you get in the way, that the bulls WILL run over you. Sound like fun? Wait there’s more.

If you prefer to not harass animals and you prefer people, you can join in on the “Tomato Royale”. This is a classic family event geared towards good clean violence, where “you can hurl tomatoes at your family, friends, and fellow participants, without guilt, inhibition, or remorse.”  There are some guidelines:

• You must be at least fourteen.
• Squished tomatoes are less dangerous
• Try not to hurt anyone?
• You should stop throwing when the victim says enough!

Okay, so let’s say we’re dealing with loving, responsible people, who like to humiliate others in a safe environment. Maybe it improves their sex life at home? Who knows what turns people on? Of course, they will be careful, sober, and know when to stop. Oh and did I say that cold beer is a perk that comes with registration?  Repeat after me, “This IS Beyond Cuckoo!” Just ask the nearest Bull.